The psychological problem of "always feeling cheated"

                        Why do I always think my partner is cheating on me? 

'You'  only can answer this question as usually people believe that when they have the feeling it is because of signs. You feel like 'your gut' is always telling you this truth. But if there is no solid evidence then be careful as your paranoia, lack of trust and insecurities can destroy relationships and state of mind. Why does it happen?

You can be jealous, and it is a natural instinct when you are heads over heels in love with someone. Might be your instincts telling you something. When you have something really great, it's easy to get caught up in your head imagining it not being there anymore. Due to some incident which has occupied in the subconscious mind may lead you to think, your partner is cheating on you. If your partner has not given you a reason to distrust him/her then this insecurity feeling is coming directly from inside of your mind.

Maybe something similar has happened in a previous relationship and this is an insecurity that has stuck with you over time. Yes, history is said to be a good teacher, and when you were repeatedly betrayed, you tend to "learn" that the people you love will eventually either leave or prove not to be deserving of your trust.

A lot of  concerns regarding an unfaithful spouse, if there are no real indications or clear red flags that they could be cheating, stem from own insecurities. You create your own demons in your relationships; you feel poorly about yourself, push those insecurities onto your significant other, and almost convince them that they were too good for you and bound to find someone better, if they hadn't already. If couldn't see the beauty and amazing traits about yourself that your soulmate is attracted to, so you will have nothing in your brain to convince you that you are worthy of a faithful partner. 

It can be a trust issue.  It may be because you do not trust and love your partner, but not ready to take the blame on you. Maybe you've been hurt before in the past by a significant other being disloyal, which you are trying to impose on your present relationship. Because you've had bad experience of someone breaking your trust and tiny little happenings are triggering something in your mind that makes your brain match whatever is happening right now what you have experience with. 

You feel that your partner isn't showing you as much attention as he/she used to, as your irritating character becomes your nature which push him/her away. Attachment issues and fear of being abandoned are very common fears, especially if one has been hurt in such ways in the past. Although one logically knows that they are wrong (unless evidence says otherwise), the nagging feeling often persists, and causes the individual distress. It's essentially what I would call a "conflict between your mind and your heart".

Or maybe it's just because you're really stressed out and everything seems to turn against you, even within your love life. Maybe because you have cheated and think your partner will do the same. Not everyone is the same. Love and trust go together and when feel doubts and insecurities and you don't have any solid to prove your doubts then you need to look at yourself and see why you are thinking or feeling this way.

Or maybe you love your partner so much that you can't bear to think how your life without him/her might be, so you're constantly worrying that something is going to go wrong and ruin the perfect fairytale you have panned out in your mind? It's natural, but if your partner is making an effort to be loyal, make sure you recognize it as this will help put your fears to rest as well. Give it a thought :)

Sometimes it very hard to understand what is going on. The brain is a strange part of our body. It is always thinking harder than it actually should and can come up with some very far fetched situations. Sometimes we look for problems in other people when we ourselves are feeling lost. Find more information within yourself as to why you feel this way.

Realise that you are not alone. You will be better if you are realistic in acknowledging the possibility that it could happen but that could be exhausting as a constant thought. Invest all these waisted energy into something productive for building the relationship. If you would like to talk with him about your fears, please try to remain open and optimistic about his/her answers. Explain that this is a fear and not an accusation(You too always remember that while talking).

Find ways to install your trust back. Don't try installing software to track him/her, instead confront him/her, but don't accuse him/her of anything it will make him/her defensive. Start of by saying "I haven't seen you that much at home, is everything alright" "Is there something you need to tell me".

Honesty is the key -- Get out of your prejudiced mind and have a good, long conversation with your partner about how you feel. But it should not end up as a heated argument as you may use the opportunity to express your righteousness. You can definitely change your thinking and lead a happy , calmer and peaceful life if you stop OVER THINKING. 

You may be facing the psychological problem of NLD (Non-verbal Learning Disorder). You may feel cheated because you may feel many people still refuse to understand you. Other problems also will pop up because that's the nature of NLD. NLD isn't one or even ten learning disorders but many. No matter how "fine" you seems there will always be an unknown hill to navigate. That's one reason anxiety is usually concurrent with NLD. Depression is common. So are other neurological and "emotional" problems. Just trying to deal with NLD can cause "emotional/mental" problems.

Always remember that NLD can affect everything from spatial, organizational, executive functioning, social and cognitive problems. Most people don't have every problem. There is no definitive criteria for diagnosing NLD but a substantial difference between verbal and performance IQ is often the standard.

Sometimes it is very difficult to find out your inner strength. The bothersome feelings can often however, be alleviated by means of therapeutic techniques such as CBT, and behavioral techniques such as meditation. If one believes their issue to be pathological, then it is best to go see a psychologist or physician, as only health care practitioners are qualified to issue diagnoses and offer treatments.

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How can you relax when you feel stressed ?

How to Relax When You are Tense

First and foremost is to have awareness about your condition. Observe yourself. When you feel tense or anxious, you tend to tighten your jaw, furrow our brow, or purse your lips. Some times you feel the veins in your temple throb.

Just relaxing the face can shift your mood.

Sit comfortably. Close your eyes. Notice your breathing and feel the air rushing past the tip of your nose. Relax your breathing. Notice how feeling the breath right there softens the throat. Imagine the inhaled cool air inflating your cheekbones just a little bit. With each exhalation, allow your cheeks to get softer and heavier. Feel the jaw relaxing. Unclench the wrinkled brow by relaxing the muscles around your eyes and temple. Let the corners of your eyes get heavier too. Very softly and slightly, lift the corners of your mouth as if you are going to have a subtle smile. Take 10 breaths, giving all the small muscles of the face some time to unclench, and notice your mood becoming a little lighter, feeling yourself calm and relaxed inside. But remember, accept that you are tense.

Because awareness is the key to manage yourself .

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