Why fight in marriage? - A password to avoid fight !!!

A password to avoid fight !!!

It is completely normal and healthy for couples to have small fights frequently in a relationship. It is not the number of fights but how you fight is important, like fight that involve criticism, contempt, name-calling or yelling,  are lethal for the relationship

As per Transactional Analysis, all living beings live for positive strokes. We do everything in our life for being happy, yes; of course including marriage, as in the case of building any other relationship. In marriage, you can see that during the initial phase of relationship all are very happy, like they have conquered the world. Every couple thinks that it's their partner who can understand them better than anybody in this world. Clarity of vision is there regarding each other. They can clearly see what is going on in their partner's mind, their feelings in their heart. They compete to make each other happy. They are ready to forgive and forget the mistakes of each other (though later they will claim it as their "broad-mindedness" while they fight). 

But as time goes, because of challenges in the life, and social interactions, the complexity and lack of communication; negativity accumulates and clarity is lost. The relationships gets spoilt and an overall toxicity sets in. Mind is more easily influenced by the negative advices of toxic people, unconsciously creating an impression in the thought pattern.  Fight is always because of ego and deprivation of reciprocal trust. Lack of trust will lead to fear.  In intimate relationships disconnection occurs when the anxiety or fear in one causes the friction and then creates a sense of inadequacy in the other. 

Sex and money are the most “important” things couples get mad at each other. But less important things such as sexual jealousy, hating each other's friends, dealing with each other's family, and discussing children, social life, etc., are factors that cause the most conflict. 

What is the solution? As the solution for pollution is dilution, you have to dilute the toxicity in relationship with the help of positive thoughts and practical tips. 

1. Love and compassion are very essential for the relationship to last for ever. 
2. One’s shortcomings should be given less attention and trust should be given more importance. 
3. Develop patience.
4. Never insult and do not degrade
5. Accept. 
6. Stop digging into the past pain
7. And stop  demanding. 

If you and your pain are important, then where is the importance of your soulmate and the relationship? Learn to forgive if you really love your life partner. There is a password to login to your most beautiful relationship...

….the password is "I CARE"

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